How can i be happy?am in love and living with someone else?my feelings my heart all are with the other man a?

am iraqi from avery traditional country and family,i am in love with apeson whos relegion is diferent than mine,i cold not marry him couse my family would kill me for that is why i married to some one else whose religion is like mine but am still in love with the other one though my husband is really agood person and treats me very well but truly im so tired cuz i just want to be with the other one who loves me too till now and always askes me to leave everything and go to be together,but that means i will have no family no friends no relatives anymore,i ccept that for love but am so tired cuz if i go with him i will ause abig damege to my husband my family and all my relatives because they all live in iraq and people will look down on them ;offfff can u tell me guys what to do am so tired